Stressed!

Hi all,

Sorry for the long hiatus, I've been very busy lately with the upcoming RES examination this weekend.

I thought the RES will be like a walk in the park, but I can'y be more wrong! I've attended 9 full day lesson from 25 Feb to 7 March plus 2 full day revisions and have less than 3 weeks to cover all 16 topics. On top of that, I've to take care of my puppy - Porsche and assist Baby with his work on a daily basis. This reminds me how much I hate studying!

GOD BLESS ME WITH YOUR HOLY POWER AH!

I wish to pass this once and for all!

I'm going to end my post here abruptly!

Bye all!

Wish me all the best and hope to share good news after my exam!

With Love
Elysius

Some personal thoughts

Hi all,

It's 240am in the morning, probably many are asleep preparing for a long work tomorrow. But here I am pondering where are you, who are you with and why can't you manage a simple reply for so many hours. So many nights I find myself being unable to contact you for hours. Perhaps I'm paranoid, but I can't get rid of all the negative emotions and thoughts I have.

You enjoy freedom and dislike any form of questioning or updating me your whereabouts. While I simply can't stand not knowing what you have been up to for an entire day. You simply brush me off by saying you're busy. Yes I know, obviously you're so busy that you can't answer or reply an SMS for good few hours and sometime half a day. But what are you busy with? Or rather with whom? Of all the rs I had, good or bad. You're the only one who made me so insecure. And I really loathes it. I hate your insincere way of brushing me off when i ask about your day, how you choose to prioritise your friends, colleagues and basically everyone instead of giving me abit more of your personal time.

Don't you realise nowadays when you contact me, it's to assign a task for me to do? Book medical appointment, arrange meetings, search for information and data on a specific region. Whenever you pop by, it always seems you came to see the dog, not me. And you're always tired, no energy to accompany me to do anything. We're together for close to a year now, you hardly initiate any dates, let alone plan activities together. Its always me, stupidly happy to accommodate to you. being happy just to see you. I know I complain to you quite frequently about your behavior, you promise to change. Half a year later, youre still like this. living like youre 18 not 28. I'm so sick of it. I'm not your Personal assistant. Neither do I enjoy being second to everyone (including our dog) in your heart. If I weigh so little now, wouldn't it be worse in the future?

I sincerely hope these negative thoughts remains as nightmares I dreamt of at night and not become reality. It's really a matter of time before I give up trying. Please don't make me give up.

Elysius